02 September 2010

Anything but square pants!

I have to confess to a guilty pleasure of watching cartoons with my kids on a Sunday morning, I pretend to be reading the papers or something equally adult but certain cartoons really are quite entertaining! One in particular that I really love is the infamous trouble prone yellow and porous creature, Sponge Bob Square Pants. There is something about him that really appeals to me, the humour is slapstick, the story lines thin, yet somehow I am entranced for the full twenty minutes or so. One thing that occurred to me the other day as I giggled like a five year old as Bob and his best friend Patrick Star caused chaos and confusion, is that my hero Bob better hope the fashion police don’t have an underwater squad, because if they see those pants they are going to have to arrest him for a crime against good taste.

Ok - it’s tenuous but honestly it did make me think about designer men’s underwear, yes it’s a cartoon and no real pants aren’t actually square but that’s not to say I haven’t seen some equally hideous crimes against fashion being committed when it comes to boxer shorts, trunks and brief - some of them definitely the wrong shape. Over washed trunks and baggy saggy boxers could actually be classed as square if not rectangular. Now every self respecting lady out there will confirm that we just don’t tolerate tatty undies, but you men really seem to have a different stance entirely. You can’t see them so you don’t worry about them. For months you pop on your out of shape, holes where they shouldn’t be, generally seen better days collection of undies, and once covered by your jeans or trousers cease to worry about what they look like. Functionality over physicality I suspect. It doesn’t matter what it looks like as long as they serve their purpose. Ok, it is the easy no effort approach and we all know how much that means to you lads, but honestly it really isn’t good.

Go to you undies drawer now and have a look for any square pants. Make that little yellow sponge proud as you ditch any trunks and briefs that have seen better days. Bin them. Go on, you know you want to really. Now, hands up who has an empty drawer? Yup that’s what we suspected, and thankfully the solution is just a click away. It is time to smarten up that tush, and get shopping for pukka designer men’s underwear, and we can take you to literally hundreds of pairs, in a massive range of colours, sizes and even shapes, but we promise you, none of them square! All of them have style, all of them are quality pieces of cheek decoration and many of them are just fantastic value. Get that piece of plastic out and get clicking, and after all that hard work lets end with a song, sing it loud sing it strong - ‘He lives in a pineapple under the sea - Sponge Bob Square Pants!'

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